Problems
by Kylie Robbins
Summary: Chad always goes out with girls for shallow reasons. So why should the reason he dumps them be any different? Especially when he keeps comparing them to a certain perky brunette... A series of one-shots. Channy implied throughout.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So yeah...this one I thought of while lying in bed, trying (and failing) to sleep. It's the first in a seires of connected one-shots. So, if you like it, put this on your alert, cuz more will be coming. ...As soon as a figure out what more to write about.**

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_#1 - Why Laugh Now?_

Netspeak. Chatspeak. Whatever the hell you want to call it - it pisses me off. I hate it with a flaming passion that consumes my soul.

And that's why she has to go.

She may be talented. She may be absolutely _gorgeous_. And she may be the absolute _best_ when it comes to...what it is that she...does... **(A/N: Alright, yeah...I had to...change this part. Otherwise it makes the girl come off as...skanky, and Chad come off as a total perve. =P AND if I have it this way, then I can give it a lower rating.)** But Dammit...Kelly...no, Kathy....No....Kayla! That's her name! And dammit, she just can't go through a conversation without saying L.....o....L.

Every time she says it, or writes it, or texts it, I want to take a pin to that blonde balloon she calls her head.

Those stupid three letters just...ugh....Every. Single. Time. I hear them, I start to grit my teeth, my hands clench into fists and I just...

And this Kayla, she's one of those people that uses it in actual conversation. Dammit! If you're talking to someone, then they'll hear you if you laugh out loud! And it's not like it o c c a s i o n a l l y slips out. She uses it _all the time_.

And she seemed so....so promising. But then I got a text from her. I actually _spoke_ to her. And it all came crashing down.

And you know who's decided to rub it in my face? That's right ladies and gentleman! Little miss bright ole beam of Sonny sunshine Monroe!

Yeah, she may _act_ like she isn't trying to rub it in my face, But every time I talk to her, she _never_ says it. Every time we IM, it's never there. I even looked through all the texts I've gotten from her - nothing.

That just makes it even harder to be with this girl gor another second.

_Hey...Kayla, we need to talk._

_Wut is it babe? lol_

_Ugh...Just....meet me Starbucks in 20, ok?_

_lol. Sure._

Damn her.

Soon enough, she'll have no need to laugh anymore...


	2. Not so POPular

**A/N: Alright, this idea, like, JUST popped into my head. (haha, that wasn't meant to be a pun. Although...to you guys, it isn't yet....) Anyhoo, on with the next little one-shot. I really need to do these more often. They're fun. And just a reminder, these one-shots are ALL going to be basically the same theme. Chad's dating a girl, there's something about her that's...annoying, and it just so happens to be something that isn't true about Sonny. Anyhoo, on with it!**

**Read, Review, & Enjoy!**

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Pop.

_Pop._

_**Pop.**_

_**POP!**_

She does it _all the time_.

I don't care how rich you are, or how big your chest is, there is _no excuse_ to pop your gum this often.

Here I am, sitting with my catch of the week. Hot, dumb, bleach blonde, Danika Williams. She just signed a contract with _Warner Music Group_. She had a number one single, I _am_ number one - perfect couple, don't you think? Nope. Don't get me wrong, the girl knows how to have fun...._God_ does she...Sorry, mind out of gutter now...

But it's been getting to me more and more lately. She's a frequent gum chewer, and always pops her gum. I'd known it from the first time I was with her when she'd had gum. But not till recently did I notice just how intolerable it is.

Earlier this afternoon I was in the commisary, getting my daily cuisine from Brenda - Canard à la Rouennaise today - while having my daily verbal battle with little miss Sonshine Sonny Monroe. And you know what she did? She offered me a mint before taking one for herself. Not gum like most teenagers. A mint.

For some reason that little exploding ball of sunshine always had to rub in the flaws of the current girl I was dating.

So here I am, watching a movie with Danika when she takes out a piece of gum.

I close my eyes and start to rub my temple, knowing what's coming.

First comes the slow, steady chewing.

I slow my breathing, trying to calm myself as I glance over to her.

I can see, it's coming. And soon.

The world passes by in slow motion as she gets ready for it.

And here it comes. I cringe in anticipation.

Pop.

_Pop._

_**Pop.**_

_**POP!**_

I start to twitch as she continues chewing and continues popping.

I clench my fist.

_C'mon Cooper. She's hot. She's famous. And she's....well, she's brainless. This is hardly a good reason to end it._ I take a deep breath and try to relax.

Pop.

"Dani, babe, we need to talk." I break the silence and she jumps at my rushed words.

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**A/N: Like it? Hate it? Want a sandwhich? Tell me!**

**And I have nothing against people who pop their gum. Cuz, well, I can't resist doing it. I do it without thinking. =P (Actually chewing gum while writing it. And I'm sure I've popped my gum at least 15 times. =)**

**Well, thanks for reading!**


	3. No More Laughter

**A/N: Okay, so yeah, I came up with the idea for this one while writing the gum popping one. I forgot it for a bit and was working on two of my multi-chaps that I'm hoping to post by the end of the night. =)**

**Read, Review, & Enjoy!**

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Sitting in the commisary with my cast members at lunch, I hear the over bearing, unbelievable sweet laugh of miss Sonshine Sonny Monroe.

I actually kind of like it. It fits her personality. It's kind of...cute._...Stupid cute...._

It's so unlike...._hers_.

Angelle de Lauren. Beautiful, buxom, brash brunette quickly rising up the ranks of the fashion world. She was goegeous, intellectual and...let's just say open...She seemed perfect. Until...I said something funny.

And she laughed.

This horrible, ear bursting, obnoxious laugh.

In a weak moment, I told my co-star Skylar about it. He reassured me that it was 'just _one flaw_ in a pool of gorgeous awesome.' Yeah...the boy envied me a bit for snagging her up.

So I tolerated that obnoxious laugh for two weeks. And then came today. Once again, little miss Sonshine sent me over the edge.

Angelle, who had come in to have lunch with me was sitting next to me at the table, and I snap out of it when I hear..._that laugh_. She was laughing at something my co-star Ferguson said. I missed it compltely, but she found it hilarious.

It is eminent. There is no avoiding it.

I sigh as I turn to her and grab her hand.

"C'mon babe. I need to talk to you out in the hallway."

She tilts her head and shoots me a confused look as she gets up and walks with me out of the commissary.

Behind me I hear Ferguson mutter, "And there goes another one..."

--

**A/N: And there's another one. Hope you liked it. =)**


	4. You could take a hint from Ryan Seacrest

**A/N: Hey there loves! Long time no see, eh? Well...that's not entirely true. I updated the Jamboree on 4/30...Anyhoo! Since my computer died back in February, I've resorted to hand writing my fics. And whilst wallowing in self-pity on my trip to Canada back in late Feb., I worked on another installment for **_**Problems**_**. In the same notebook, I also have another fic started based off of a line from **_**West Coast Story**_**. But for now, y'all get another problem :]Oh, and today, May 1st, is my 18th birthday! So how 'bout you leave me some reviews to make my b-day extra special? :P**--I first saw her from across the commissary. She wasn't my usual rich and famous type, but she did have one thing going for her - she. Was. Gorgeous.

She had long golden waves that perfectly framed her angelic face. She had startling amber eyes that lit up like a wild fire when the light hit them just right. Her legs went on for miles and were perfectly tanned.

She wore a flowy royal blue dress that hit her mid-thigh and accented her curves perfectly and showed just enough skin.

I watched her as she crossed the room. She was next in line to get a heaping pile of meatloaf bits when I decided to make my move.

I slid in line in front of her, pushing back her plate.

"Hey, I was--" She began.

"Afternoon Brenda."

"The usual Mr Cooper?" The homely cafeteria lady questioned me.

"Yes please. But make it two. I figure I owe my friend here some lunch." A look of shock crossed her face, followed by a nervous smile.

Brenda took out two silver platters with porter houses on them and gave me a happy, albeit creepy grin.

"Thanks Brenda." I took the two steaks and headed to a table. And it took her a moment, but she followed cautiously.

I gestured for her to sit and she did, but she gave me a questioning look as she did so.

I pushed the steak toward her, but she just continued to stare.

"Go ahead, it won't bite," I laughed.

"Um...okay." She cautiously began to eat her steak. "Oh, uh...My name's Halle by the way. Halle Shaw."

"Nice to meet you Halle Shaw." I flashed her my 1000-watt smile. "I'm Chad Dy--"

"Dylan Cooper, I know. So...why exactly did you get me a steak?"

I shrugged, still smiling. "I'm Chad Dylan Cooper. I don't need a reason to get a pretty girl a steak."

She looked away, slightly embarrassed, and that's when I knew I was in.

For another ten minutes we sat at our table chatting, Halle being shy and demure the whole time.

We talked about tons of stuff - what she was doing at Condor Studios, my acting career, her life back home. And then I glanced down at my watch and saw that I had about two minutes before I had to be on set for rehearsal.

"Shoot…I'm sorry Halle, but I've got to go or I'll be late for rehearsal," I confessed, an apologetic expression on my face.

"Oh, okay. Don't want to keep the star of the number 1 tween drama from his work," she smiled.

I hadn't seen it until now. She wasn't the type of person that really opened their mouth too wide when they spoke, she was too nervous talking to me to smile that much.

But there it was.

Her teeth. They were dull - coffee stained. So much less than pleasant. And beyond their…discoloration, she obviously did not know the joy of flossing.

It's because of people like her that I weep for the gums of the world.

I was having such a good time talking to Halle. But if there's one thing I stand for more than anything, it's proper dental hygiene. So I just…couldn't even stand to look Halle in the eye anymore.

Why couldn't she have teeth like…like Sonny's? Bright, white, and clean.

…And there she goes again…

Little Miss Sonshine Sonny Munroe has to go and rub things in my face…

…Dammit.

Well…at least I won't have to go through another messy breakup with this one…--**Alright, that's that. Hope y'all enjoyed!And I'd really like to apologize for the fact that there are SOOOOO many things that I haven't updated in **_**forever**_**. I promise, I'll try to get to them all as soon as I still, it may take a while. I still no longer have my own computer, **_**and**_** I still have school to deal. Two AP classes, and two honors. Which means a lot of focus put on school. Also, I have some personal, family type problems to deal with. I'll try to make time to work on updates, but I can't promise it'll be as soon as I'd like. :[**


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